WWN Guide To Being ‘Some Man For The Ladies’
FANCY being ‘some man for the ladies’? Do you want people in your hometown to regard you as ‘having an eye for the girls’? Do you want the vast majority of your sexual aggression to be dismissed as ‘ah sure, he always did like the girls’? Then Ireland truly is the place for you. Here’s a few ways you can cement your position in Ireland as being someone who knows how to give the ladies what they want whether they know it themselves or not.
1) Achieve a position of power
Hey, if it’s one thing a woman loves, it’s power, right? For an Irish man, that could be anything from being a star player for the local team, or being a manager at the local Pound Shop. Either way, you can use your high standing to chat up women at any time, day or night, regardless of what they’re doing at the time. That young girl who just started working here other day? Go ahead on over and stand really, really close to her. Rest your hand on her shoulders, even if she looks uncomfortable. Crack a funny joke about something dirty. You can do whatever you want! You’re some man for the ladies!
2) Always aim for the younger ones
Your status as SMFTL can be cemented by always having the attention of a young lady… Legal age, of course gentlemen, LOL! Whether she’s the girl at the deli counter where you get your chicken fillet roll, or a girl in the college course you lecture at, feel free to give her an uncomfortable amount of attention. Ask her to stay behind after class. Sit on her desk, look down her blouse. Nobody’s going to pass much remarks, other than to tut and laugh and say how you’re some man for the ladies. Best not cause a fuss. Sure, that’s just how you are. Say nothing.
3) Shrug off a few sexual assault allegations
Or rather, have them dismissed for you! Should any young woman get angry at your constant, unsolicited advances, she may report you for sexual misconduct, or something more serious if you’ve been taking your status as some man for the ladies to its limits. But don’t worry, it’ll never see the inside of a courtroom. Your local community will rally around you, stress that ‘look, you’re some man for the ladies, and always have been’. Your behaviour is excusable. You couldn’t help it! You just love those ladies. That girl is probably dying to see what she can get from you. You’re fine, you’re grand. Good job you live in Ireland!