ONLOOKERS described a scene of huge discomfort and awkwardness on Wexford’s Main Street this morning involving two men in their 20s.
Wexford natives Darragh Kelly and Noel Healy found themselves locked in a bizarre incident which saw them walk side by side for close to 30 feet, despite not actually knowing one another.
“He just bolted out of the Penneys there and he was going at such a pace I thought ‘he’ll pass me in no time’, but then there we were, nearly locking arms walking beside each other for forever,” Healy confirmed to WWN.
However, Kelly’s account of the incident differs wildly.
“This randomer was rubbing elbows with me the second I walked out of Penneys, I sped up to get past the fucker but we were neck and neck. So I slow down, and he only slows down too, I turned to look at him, but he darted his eyes away the second I locked eyes,” confirmed Kelly.
The two men continued to walk side by side, mere inches from one another despite ample walking space elsewhere on the Main Street.
“What can I say I went to slow down to let him go ahead but then the fucking weirdo slowed down too. I went to stare him out of it, but as I soon as I looked at him, he turned his head away. The lad is obviously cracked,” countered Healy.
Eyewitnesses to the strange event confirmed it was just about the ‘cringiest’ thing they had ever seen.
“It was qware cringey, my heart nearly leap out of my chest watching. I wanted to stop looking but I couldn’t and then the eejits turned the same corner as one another,” confirmed local Claire Cassidy.
“I was ready to the deck the fella when I turned down the lane for SuperValu and then he did the exact same thing,” both men said in separate interviews with WWN.
Despite Ireland being a modern first world country, proper path-walking etiquette has failed to enter the 21st century, meaning incidents like this are sadly commonplace on the country’s pedestrian pathways.