Rumours Suggest New Doctor Who May Be Not Just For Fucking Nerds

RUMOURS are running rife online following the cliffhanger finale to this season of Doctor Who, amid suggestions that the next person to play the Doctor might pull the show out of the scrap heap and make it more appealing to people who aren’t dorks.

The current Doctor, played by Peter Capaldi, is set to hang up his Tardis keys during this year’s Christmas special, with hints in last weekend’s season finale pointing at a female successor or, failing that, someone who can help the show become something more than just a jumping-off point for nerds online.

The BBC have confirmed that they have a huge interest in making the show much, much better than it is, claiming that while coasting on name recognition is one thing, it’d be nice if their flagship science-fiction show was up to par with the best sci-if in the world, and not just a hokey Scooby-Doo style monster chase with embarrassing effects and plotting that rarely if ever makes any sense.

“We’re hoping that the next Doctor won’t just resort to gobbledygook to solve their problems,” beamed one source close to the production.

“Male or female, we’re hoping to furnish them with scripts that don’t just descend into nonsense that the Doctor solves by pulling a few levers on the Tardis while talking shite. That way, we can appeal to a bigger audience, and not just the die-hards who refuse to accept that the show is a big load of old bollocks”.

The source went on to confirm that the SFX team for the new season might actually get a big enough budget to create monsters and effects that don’t look like Ceefax.