“Who’s A Good Boy?” Putin Pats Trump On Head At Meeting


THE MUCH vaunted meeting between President Trump and President Putin, leaders of the international superpowers America and Russia, is said to have concluded in the last hour according to inside sources.

Having cause to meet one another as they attended the G20 meeting in Germany, the possible content of Trump and Putin’s conversation has been the source of much speculation with WWN being the first international news organisation able to confirm what transpired between the two men.

A historic first meeting between the two men, who have definitely never met before kicked off with an 11-minute secret handshake which involved multiple high fives, elbow touch-offs and chest bumps, according to an inside source.

“You just can’t really explain it. You know the warmth in a man’s smile when he sets eyes on his bride in her dress for the first time as she walks up the aisle, it was kinda like that,” explained one source, who had knowledge of the meeting’s details.

Before any important issues, such as Russia’s attempt to compromise the democratic process in America, could be discussed, the two leaders had to become acquainted for the very first ever, as they have never met before, ever.

“Who’s a good boy?” Putin said as he ruffled Trump’s hair, prompting a besotted Trump to giggle nervously.

“That was just the start of it, they then compared muscles and marvelled at how manly they were. Trump then boasted about having the biggest penis in the history of humankind, and Putin said he would concede to that point if Trump would drop all sanctions against Russia. Trump immediately agreed, it’s a blossoming bromance, but it’s fair to say our President outsmarted the Russians once again,” confirmed a White House insider.

All those in attendance were then asked to ‘clear the room’ but individuals who placed their ears to the locked off doors reported hearing tickling and Putin throwing tennis balls for Trump to fetch.

UPDATE: The White House has denied an earlier assertion that Trump responded with ‘what?’ to Putin’s opening statement, which was allegedly ‘bitches say what’.