WWN Guide To The Qatar & Saudi Arabia Dispute

THE COMPLICATED world of Middle Eastern politics can often be hard to understand. With news that Saudi Arabia has lead several other GCC nations in a diplomatic shunning of Qatar, you may be asking yourself many questions.

Enter the WWN Fact Analysis and Research Team (WWN FART) which is on hand to help you catch up on the complex diplomatic dispute.

Okay, who’s side should I be on?

While we’re not in the business of taking sides, you can ask yourself; are you on the side of:

A) Saudi Arabia, alleged funders of the 9/11 attackers and current alleged funders of ISIS, the Taliban and al-Qaeda, human rights hating-enthusiasts, purchasers of UK and US arms, current war crimes carry-outer in Yemen.

Or

B) Qatar, human rights abusing world champions, and a haven for funders of the Muslim Brotherhood, ISIS and Hamas, and home to the United States’ Middle Eastern ‘Central Command’ military base.

Wait, what’s that about the Saudi’s and 9/11?

Yup, 15 of the 19 9/11 attackers were from Saudi Arabia and according to Democratic Senator Bob Graham, who chaired the Senate Intelligence Committee and was part of a report into the 9/11 attacks “the hijackers received active support and guidance from rich Saudis, Saudi charities and top members of the Saudi government.”

Woah, but Trump just sold 100 billion worth of arms to the Saudis

Honestly, we’d be here all day with this shit. Obama had also sought unsuccessfully to block the 9/11 families from being able to sue the Saudi government for their role in 9/11. Let’s keep our focus.

Qatar fund Hamas, Muslim Brotherhood and Isis, but the US keep 11,000 troops there, boosting Qatar’s economy?

Yeah, look, we don’t actually fucking get it either.

So if Qatar AND Saudi Arabia don’t do enough to crack down on terror funding but leading Western nations turn a blind eye anyway, what is this dispute about?

Qatar congratulated Iran’s leader Hassan Rouhani on his recent reelection. Saudi Arabia’s mortal enemy in the fight for title of ‘Middle Eastern superpower’ is Iran, so yeah, that didn’t help, but then Trump saying Iran deserved to be hit by ISIS in the terror attack which occurred in Tehran yesterday isn’t helping things either. Oh, and Iran are blaming Saudi Arabia for the attack.

So basically the serious crisis is basically a case of the popular girl in school getting mad at her friend for talking to the unpopular kid people don’t like?

Well, eh, yeah actually. It’s Middle Eastern Mean Girls and Saudi Arabia is pissed of at Qatar for trying to Iran ‘a thing’. Saudi Arabia wants Qatar to stop making Iran a thing, with the addition of Donald Trump fucking up in the background every five minutes.

Oh, oh, oh and one more thing; the Saudi’s are really pissed off at Qatar for supportive comments they made regarding Iran, except the article the quotes came from is a spurious fake news site based in the Gulf.

Just tell me what side I should be on; Saudi’s, Qatari’s, the American’s, or the UK’s? Or Jennifer Lawrence’s?

You honestly think we fucking know?

Will this dispute in the Gulf have a knock on effect for the rest of the world?

We’re not saying this the 21st Century’s Gavrilo Princip and World War I moment all over again, but if you want to break a leg to get out of army conscription, it wouldn’t be a bad idea.