AMONGST the toughest tasks in life, next to giving birth and pretending to be interested in seeing photos from your elderly aunt’s holiday in Greece, is choosing the right sort of bridesmaid that won’t outshine you in your wedding photos.
How can you tactically ask someone to be your bridesmaid who you aren’t all that great friends with but who is a lot less attractive than your Victoria Secret model of a best friend? How can you avoid asking that stunning friend, whom you have known since the first day of junior infants, to be in your wedding party?
These are the hardest and most delicate operations any bride to be can become engaged in, and many women confess to failing in their attempts to insure they come out of their wedding day and wedding photos looking head and shoulders above everyone else.
WWN is on hand to provide you with all the essential information.
Preparation is key
Wait, you’re not even engaged yet? In fact, you don’t even have a boyfriend? Perfect. We’ve caught you at the perfect time. Now is the time to put in the preparation for your wedding day photos. If and when you meet a guy in a bar, or match someone on Tinder, you must begin the slow phasing out of your closest, your most loyal and best friend, in favour of bumping up someone to the position of ‘BFF’ who doesn’t catch the eye.
Never warn your friend when they are in danger
Are they about to step out in front of oncoming traffic? Well, look, it could result in some horrible disfiguration for them, and that’s no bad thing for your photos.
Pick horrible bridesmaid dresses
Obviously. This isn’t fucking amateur hour.
Cull, cull, cull
Unfortunate enough to have several very attractive female friends? We feel your pain. Act now and act fast. Repeat the phasing out method with every single one of them. Decline brunch invites. Stop sending them gifs of cats playing the piano. Be ruthless. This is your big, hypothetical day and you can’t have anyone outshining you.