Dublin Drugs Crime Criminal Gang Plot Murder Daylight Horror Criminal Attempt

DUBLIN, our capital city, besieged yet again by murder drugs criminals in yet another death plot plan carried out by masked gunmen in broad daylight.

Victims, known to gardaí, with links to drug-related shootings and gang-related violence and mob-style executions and fire-based arson and penis-based rapes.

Shot dead! As children played in a schoolyard mere miles away, Dublin is once again in the vice-like grip of drugs gangs, launching murderous plots to assassinate known drug lords with links to crime families, with the gardaí powerless to stop the carnage leaking out onto the streets in broad daylight.

Feared criminals, in retaliation for attacks from feared criminals, struck fear into the hearts of the fearful in the cool air of a February morning, while wearing masks and brandishing an arsenal of shotguns, pistols, uzis, machetes, drugs, pitbull dogs, AK-47 assault rifles, and fistfulls of dirty drug money.

“Murder. Murder killing drug scum plots, linked to known criminals,” said one tabloid journalist, reaching into a glass bowl filled with gang-related phrases in a bid to produce an attention-grabbing headline for tomorrow’s paper.

“Blood crazy killing drugs epidemic capital city. Thugs shotguns drugs, gardaí powerless, streets equal warzones, links to crime syndicates. Costa del Scum! Spain! Dublin, murder! Aghhhh!”

This journalist then went back to work compiling a 24-page pullout for this weekend’s edition, which will consist of the same four words over and over again.