Durex Scientists Unveil First Man Ribbed For Her Pleasure


IN A BREAKTHROUGH many thought wasn’t possible, women throughout the world can look forward to a level of pleasure never before experienced inside the confines of the bedroom this Valentine’s Day, thanks to the work of Durex and a dedicated team of scientists.

A pioneering team of all female scientists working for the condom manufacturer have revealed that one of their top secret experiments has yielded fantastic results in the shape of the world’s first ever man ribbed for her pleasure.

“It’s time to give back to womankind,” explained Durex CEO Andrew Durex, “it’s classic male chauvinism to restrict the unbridled pleasures of our ribbed technology to just the penis area, why not the entire man?” he added, before allowing his team of scientists to further elaborate.

“We just wondered one day while quite high what it would be like to rib an entire man and not just the profilactic he placed on his penis. We’re delighted with the results, the next grand step in human evolution,” sex scientist Clementine Halm explained to WWN.

In order to put their technology to the test, Durex needed a volunteer guinea pig, someone who had no problem with using his body to pleasure a woman in return for no sexual gratification of his own.

After an 8 year search for such an individual, Irish man Simon McClennan agreed to take part in medical trials with Durex after spending much of the last decade struggling to gain the attention of and affection from the opposite sex.

“I suppose you could say I was unlucky in love,” shared McClennan, covered head to toe in a ribbed plastic casing, “but I’ve been a major hit with the ladies in the medical trials, no matter what way they touch me”.

The experiments have come at a price, however, as Durex research labs have been flooded countless times, causing upwards of €12 million in damages.

“It is ready to go on sale today, and judging by the initial interest it will be our biggest selling product,” scientist Halm added.