People Injured In Temple Bar Arch Collapse To Be Charged €100 Each

TWO people injured when a portion of the arch leading into Dublin’s Temple Bar area will receive a bill of €100 each, after local business people stressed that they had “not paid for their authentic Temple bar experience”.

The bills were issued this morning after debris collapsed from the ceiling of the historic “marble arch” entry to the main Temple Bar square.

Dubbed both the cultural centre of Dublin, and also a great place to get seriously injured, Temple Bar is a “must-visit” area for tourists and people who should know better.

Stressing that most people contribute large amounts of money to businesses in the area via food and drink bills, before receiving their head wound, local vintners issued the €100 charges to the injured parties claiming that they had gotten away with free injuries without spending any money in the area.

“The system is simple: you come to Temple Bar, you spend €100 on a round of drinks, then you wake up in A&E the next morning with a massive headwound,” said Peader Lennon, proprietor of Ishmael Kryszovzki’s Authentic Turkish Cuisine in the Temple Bar area.

“You can’t just be at the entry to Temple Bar, get clocked in the head by a falling brick, and leave without paying. I don’t care if you got injured by a collapsing wall instead of a drunk student. I want my cash”.