Taoiseach Chains Himself To Big Ben, Begs Britain To Stay In EU


A DESPERATE Enda Kenny has chained himself to Big Ben in an attempt to convince voters in Britain to vote to stay in the EU.

It is thought Kenny will be relying heavily on his ability to annoy people, and will suggest that the British public vote to stay in the EU in exchange for the Taoiseach agreeing to unchain himself from Big Ben before returning back to Ireland.

The Fine Gael leader chained himself to Big Ben at 6am this morning as part of his push to influence voters to back the ‘Remain’ campaign. Experts have claimed that Ireland will lose out economically in the event of Britain exiting the EU, prompting Kenny to act swiftly to avert a crisis.

Now entering the 8th hour of his protest, the Taoiseach has played Chicago’s hit song “If You Leave Me Now” on repeat since arriving in Westminster and has attracted a small crowd.

“No, this has just made me change my mind. I’m going to vote to leave if it means we can keep annoying people like this out,” one voter shared with WWN.

Kenny is to begin his begging and crying phase of his protest in the next few hours.