Irish Dancing Now Contains 80% More Slut-Dropping

ADDITIONS to the choreography of Irish Dancing over the past few years has led to a huge rise in the amount of times a dancer will pause mid-jig, slam down hard to the ground and then return arse-first to a standing position, a new report has found.

Twerking, crunking, crip-walking and slut-dropping have all made their way into a number of traditional reels, transforming the normally chaste and sedate hand-by-your-sides Irish dancing style into something a lot more contemporary.

“So you go left, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ,7, then BAM, drop that ass to the floor, pause, and yeah, pick that thing up slowly” said Kirsten McAlister, chief choreographer at the Xeltic Dance Xlub, Moate. “Then you want to get crazy with it here on the spot for a while, shake what your grandmother gave your mother to give to you before she died. Really get them ringlets flying. Then a 1,2,3 step and back to the original starting position”.

Although the addition of the new moves has angered Irish dancing purists, nobody can deny that it certainly livens up a wedding.