Government To Hand Out Free Hangers To Women Who Can’t Afford Trip To England


IN order to fend off any attempt by Repeal The 8th campaigners to pressure for a referendum on abortion in Ireland, the government has launched an innovative and forward thinking initiative which can serve as an alternative to an expensive trip to England.

The government has made a bulk purchase of over 2 million clothes hangers which will be sent out to every female Irish citizen in the event of them needing or desiring an abortion.

“We just couldn’t be arsed going through the stress of a referendum, plus it’s a matter of conscience and all that, so we’re sending off the hangers, and we’ll let people’s conscience do the rest,” explained a government spokesman as he placed hangers into individual envelopes, earmarked for the women and girls of Ireland.

“And yes, it does get to us that some women have been priced out of abortions in England due to the associated costs, it’s a disgrace. We knew we had to do something about it here on a governmental level, and so the nationwide hangers distribution plan was born,” added the spokesman.

While the envelopes won’t carry precise instructions, the government is trusting that the women of Ireland are well read up on the alternative methods of termination at this stage, in lieu of real access to healthcare.

“It’s a gentle and understanding tightrope we’re balancing on here. We don’t want to be seen condoning things like abortions, but if women find themselves in situations where the hangers could an option, given desperates circumstances, then who are we to deny them,” a spokesperson for the Irish Commission On Things We Don’t Talk About (ICOTWDTA) explained.

The ICOTWDTA spokesperson pointed out that although many women will feel they have no need for the hanger, they can hold on to it and pass it on as a gift for future generations of Irish women.