NUI Maynooth ‘Inundated’ With Male Application Queries Today

A SPOKESPERSON for NUI Maynooth has said the University has been inundated with calls from young men enquiring about applications following news of naked women stripping on the campus last night.

College authorities are currently investigating a fake stag party that was held ahead of an official Students’ Union (SU) event – a mock wedding between Mal Callan from NUIM and a member of DCU Student’s Union.

“Our phones have been off-the-hook since this morning,” said the Sheila Lyons, receptionist at the college. “We’ve had nothing but young men asking if it was too late to change their CAO applications. Many of which had applied for bigger universities like Trinity and DCU. It’s incredible.”

It is not yet known if the surge in interest is in any way related to yesterday’s incident. However, WWN managed to talk to a group of young men loitering around outside on the campus grounds.

“We just came down to have a look is all.” said one of the youths. “I wasn’t even going to go to college after the leaving cert, but now I’ve changed me mind. Looks like great craic so it does.”

Chairman of NUI Professor John Hughes told WWN that last night’s incident involving the strippers was “totally unacceptable and highly arousing”, and ruled out any future course in the art of stripping when asked.

“Of course we won’t be offering that.” he replied, slightly insulted. “Stripping is only for young women trying to pay for college, not part of college.”