Tag: dublin

Disorganised Crime Gang Arrested After Turning Up To Wrong Bank

FOUR MEMBERS of the notorious O’Loughlin disorganised crime gang will appear before the courts today charge with failing to rob a bank, WWN understands. In what police have called the easiest arrests they’ve ever made, John ‘The Dunce’ O’Louhglin and his associates Harry ‘Half Brain’ Henderson, Noel ‘No Clue’ Nolan and Ian ‘The Spoon’ Cornell… Read more »

Dessie Farrell Appointed 2020’s All Ireland Winning Manager

DUBLIN FOOTBALL legend Dessie Farrell has been announced as Jim Gavin’s successor as next year’s winning All Ireland Football Championship manager, in a decision welcomed by Dubs everywhere. Farrell’s role as 2020’s All Ireland winning manager will involve relaxing walks up and down Croke Park’s touchline with much time focused on practising his trophy lifting… Read more »

Whale Trapped In Dublin Following MyTaxi Fuck-Up

THE mystery surrounding the appearance of a Minke whale in Dublin bay has been solved today after it was revealed that the animal had been dropped off in the wrong spot by a MyTaxi driver, or Hailo, or FreeNow, or whatever they’re calling themselves this week. Normally found in the colder waters of the North… Read more »

Five-In-A-Row For Ah Who Fucking Cares

THERE were jubilant scenes at Croke Park on Saturday evening following Dublin’s thrilling All-Ireland victory against ah who are we kidding, nobody gave a fuck then and nobody gives a fuck now. Claiming an historic fifth consecutive All-Ireland victory, the Dubs… actually, no, now that we read that first paragraph again, there weren’t any ‘jubilant… Read more »