“YOU haven’t seen them, have ya?” remarked Apple airpods owner Gavin Malley, now resorting to tearing up the floorboards in his home in search of the elusive audio aids which go missing at least 40 times a day. “Fuck sake, I swear I had them a second ago there on the table,” added Malley, running… Read more »
IN an unprecedented move set to send shockwaves through the very fabric of space and time, Apple are set to announce a new iteration of their iPhone later today, with speculation running rampant as to what this means for those of us who rely on the device for our daily dose of self-worth. Although the… Read more »
FOLLOWING decades of subservient behaviour towards the EU and agreeing to share its most lucrative of resources, the Republic of Ireland has this week taken a stand, telling its European partners that “no, you will never take our tax haven status”. Despite allowing some of the most aggressive fishing in its waters the world has… Read more »
FOR some unknown reason, global multinationals like Apple, Google & Facebook have failed to make the Revenue’s latest list of tax defaulters for 2019 despite actively avoiding billions of euros in tax, WWN can confirm. The tax defaulters list by Revenue, which names and shames struggling individuals and companies who owe tax, continued to ignore… Read more »
ALL eyes were on Apple yesterday, when… Christ. Jesus Christ. How many times can we write this same article over and over again. It’s a phone. It’s a God damned phone. It’s the same fucking phone they revealed last year, and the year before, and the year before… for ten years, the same thing. A… Read more »
GOT an iPhone? They’re pretty handy, right? But did you know that there’s a slew of handy hints and tips that you’ve probably never heard of which will make your phone even better? You won’t find them in any Apple manual, but smart-thinking life-hackers have found these nifty shortcuts and hacks that will change your… Read more »
Granny Smith, the famed Apple magnate whose fortune is valued at €193 billion has died at the age of 91. Georgia Smith was of course more affectionately known as Granny Smith by the rivals she ruthlessly wiped out in the incredibly bloody ‘Apple Wars’ feud of the 1950s. Her resulting victory in the conflict carved… Read more »
Expressing their frustration at the fact some Athenry locals failed to understand that when a large multinational company with questionable tax practices wants something in Ireland they are just allowed to have it, Apple have placed on the record their disappointment in not getting their way by announcing the cancellation of their planned data centre…. Read more »
Dear Internet user, Please read the following open letter carefully, as this is the only correspondence you’re getting from us. Look at the state of you there you pathetic blubbering mess, worrying about what your technological devices are doing to your life; what information we’re taking, what conversations we’re listening in on, what filth you’ve been… Read more »
THE Irish government will finally be able to collect the €13bn in taxes owed by the Apple corporation, after having the entire country unlocked by a Chinese guy working out of a shop in Moore Street called Extra Good Phone Unlock & Afro Caribbean Hair Product Store. Confronted with the entire Irish revenue system, a… Read more »