Tag: apple

The iPhone 12: Here’s What’s Changed

IN an unprecedented move set to send shockwaves through the very fabric of space and time, Apple are set to announce a new iteration of their iPhone later today, with speculation running rampant as to what this means for those of us who rely on the device for our daily dose of self-worth. Although the… Read more »

Apple Billionaire Granny Smith Dies, Age 91

Granny Smith, the famed Apple magnate whose fortune is valued at €193 billion has died at the age of 91. Georgia Smith was of course more affectionately known as Granny Smith by the rivals she ruthlessly wiped out in the incredibly bloody ‘Apple Wars’ feud of the 1950s. Her resulting victory in the conflict carved… Read more »

Delete Yourself. Now.

Dear Internet user, Please read the following open letter carefully, as this is the only correspondence you’re getting from us. Look at the state of you there you pathetic blubbering mess, worrying about what your technological devices are doing to your life; what information we’re taking, what conversations we’re listening in on, what filth you’ve been… Read more »