Tubridy Raging He Didn’t Hang On Until RTÉ Redundancies Were Announced

IN THE AFTERMATH of RTÉ leaking to the media but not their employees that they will be cutting as many as 400 jobs representing 20% of total staff, Ryan Tubridy can’t help but curse his bad luck and timing.

“I know as an ‘independent contractor’ he technically wouldn’t have qualified for such a package but Tubs had a good relationship with the last director general, so I’m sure a nice package could have been arranged,” confirmed a source close to the former Late Late host to WWN.

Voluntary redundancy packages could see employees paid as much as €100,000 and given a complimentary pair of flip flops as a token of the appreciation for their services.

“Wow that’s like how many Renault hosting event gigs?” marveled the source.

“And how many clickbait tabloid articles stating ‘Tubridy now FAVOURITE to host the Oscars’ that would pay for? Well none actually, because they write that shit for free but still”.

Potential cuts to the national broadcaster could see RTÉ rob their signal from neighbours in Virgin Media, migrate their channels entirely onto a dodgy box and kill off a new Fair City cast member every day until there’s no one left.

“Think of them as reFUNdancies,” insisted RTÉ DG Kevin Bakhurst, further endearing himself staff who were the last to find out they could lose their jobs.

Elsewhere, the government has again welcomed the news on the redundancies because at least it keeps the heat off them.