Dee Forbes Last Seen Boarding Chopper On RTÉ Roof


WITH the sound of media outlets asking for comment drowned out by rotator blades, out-going RTÉ chief Dee Forbes was last seen boarding a chopper on the roof on the Montrose building.

“Just stick it on the expense account, I’m good for a few more weeks,” Forbes said to the pilot, as the director general fled the scene, stamping on the knuckles of some of RTÉ’s highest earners whose concealed salary ‘top up’ payments had yet to be revealed.

Forbes had made a quick return to RTÉ minutes ago to clear out her desk and collect her World’s Most Financially Prudent Boss mug from the RTÉ canteen and managed to avoid angry staff who wanted to know why €350k in payments to Ryan Tubridy were concealed at a time of pay cuts and job losses.

It is not yet known where Forbes next gig will be however, such is the creative accounting on the display, a future as a surrealist painter could be on the cards.

“This is just the most insulting news I’ve ever heard, the RTÉ board need to answer questions, not on Tubridy’s pay – couldn’t care less about that, I just want to know why they’re forcing Carl Mullan and Gerry Ryan’s young on us!” said one irate licence fee dodger.

Elsewhere, what were first judged to be a group of angry protesters outside RTÉ turned out to be a mile long queue of Netflix, HBO and BBC executives begging Ryan Tubridy to move to their organisation in deals worth tens of millions of euros.