Tubridy Just Relieved He Got Farewell Show In Before Shit Hit The Fan


IT IS believed Ryan Tubridy will be spending the day sitting on his old Late Late Show chair staring at a Vespa he received from U2 from his farewell show, reminiscing about his final days on RTÉ television, thankful he skated through before the proverbial shit hit the fan.

“These revelations came out in March the same time he announced that he was leaving, I’m sure people will understand it’s a total coincidence,” said one crew member, grinding their teeth to dust at the thoughts of having bought Tubridy a farewell cake using her stagnant salary which was a fraction of the money RTÉ secretly paid the TV host.

The fact Tubridy’s old boss Dee Forbes headed for the high hills after six years in her job, the same number of years Mr. Tubridy was paid an additional undisclosed €345k, is also seen as a coincidence.

“Imagine having so much money you didn’t even notice a yearly €57k bump, what is he like at’all?” said another crew member breaking up a cardboard cutout of Tubridy and putting it in the bin.

Received with huge fanfare by the naive nation, Tubs’ leaving do audibly squeaked it was so clean, with the 50-year-old almost making it through his entire career scandal free.

“He was so close,” exhaled a friend, now wondering which major broadcaster Tubridy will be snapped up by, “Newstalk seems to be the place old RTÉ presenters go to die but hey they don’t have to publish your salary. Good they focused on him first so he can get in somewhere before the rest of his colleagues make the news for the same thing”.

“If I knew there was the insinuation of concealing earnings, I wouldn’t have given him that shite little Vespa,” said Bono, “I would have given him a private jet. Fair play, a man after my own heart”.