“It Was An Accurate Titanic Experience” Reads New OceanGate Review On Tripadvisor

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IF you thought that the OceanGate tragedy would serve as a warning to billionaires about the perils of risking life and limb for the kind of experience that cost more that the houses of most proles, think again; in fact, hundreds of the world’s richest people have expressed an interest in getting pulverised by the pressures of the unfathomable deep.

“Being someone who lost their life while travelling to the depths of the ocean in a metal tube controlled by a 3rd party Xbox joystick is currently the most exclusive club in the world,” explained one expert on the inexplicable behaviour of billionaires.

“Far from spooking these men, by the way it is almost 100% men, it has instead started a conversation about what is the most fitting way for a billionaire to die. These are people who live life to the next level, and suddenly the thoughts of dying at home as an elderly person surrounded by loved ones is no longer appealing. If five extremely wealthy people can be immortalised for being crushed together into the size of a Kinder Surprise egg, then the question becomes ‘how do I die?’. Fall off Everest? Have your genetically engineered monkey butler bite your face off? Who can die best?”.

Concurrently, OceanGate will continue to run their expeditions to the wreck of the Titanic, although advertising and Tripadvisor reviews now boast that the journey offers the most authentic experience of the doomed liner imaginable.

In fact, “You probably never thought you could get your name added to the list of bodies resting on the ocean floor beside the most famous ship in history, but buddy, you’re dead wrong!” is being mooted as the company’s new sales pitch.

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