Disappointment As Man Arrested Outside Buckingham Palace Not Prince Andrew


THE SHOCK which greeted news of a police performing an arrest and carrying out a controlled explosion outside Buckingham Palace was only eclipsed by the disappointment felt by the British public when it was revealed Prince Andrew wasn’t the culprit.

“I thought ‘finally this Coronation business is kicking things up a gear’,” said one man who had rushed to the palace in the hopes of getting to see Prince Andrew sweating.

Learning of reports that a man had been seen throwing shotgun shells into the palace grounds, people understandably thought Prince Andrew was still angered by the fact he would not be allowed bring a paid-for underage plus-one to his brother’s coronation ceremony.

“When I heard some idiot apparently didn’t know how shotgun shells worked I definitely thought it was Prince Andrew, disappointed doesn’t cover it,” said another member of the public.

“I mean if they’re going to spend £100mn of taxpayer money on a party for Charles as we queue for food banks, the least they can do is lessen the sting a bit, I bet they even have ceremonial diamond-entrusted handcuffs for such an occasion”.

Elsewhere, preparations for the coronation are in their final stages with the ceremonial Stone of Destiny in place all that is left is for King Charles to don Henry VIII’s ceremonial cock sock before killing a peasant of his choice in every town in England.