Hillary To Kick Back With Mug Of Adrenochrome & Enjoy Trump Trial

FORMER PRESIDENTIAL candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton is said to be making herself nice and comfy so she can watch the news roll in about the arrest of her political adversary Donald Trump on her massive TV with a range of child-organ snacks including an adrenochrome expresso; and she’s not the only one.

Former president Barack Obama and his demonic family have also hooked themselves up to IV lines carrying the blood of innocents so that they don’t miss a moment of Trump’s court appearances, where he stands accused of 34 counts of falsifying business records.

Current sitting President Joe Biden has refused to be drawn on the trial as he claims it’s ‘beneath a president to comment on such matters,’ but insiders have leaked that Biden has undergone a smirk-suppression procedure so that he can laugh at decent patriots and real Americans without them even knowing.

And it’s not just political types that are feasting on life-enhancing illegal human blood-based supplements during the trial, pretty much the entire Hollywood elite along with higher-ups from the music and fashion industries are glued to the proceedings, marking the first time they’ve taken a break from sacrificing children to Satan in years.

Elsewhere, streaming services such as Netflix and HBO Max have expressed concerns that there’s no way they’ll be able to offer anything on their platforms that comes near to the drama available for free from Trump’s court woes. “We’re fucked,” said one.