Instagram To Trial Showing You Posts From People You Actually Follow

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INSTAGRAM has announced that they are going to do a trial run of actually showing people stuff they’re interested in for a week, to see if it can curb frustrations with the platform following a year of outages and non-stop ads for fast-fashion tat.

“Listen, it’s just crazy enough to work,” said a source close to Meta chief Mark Zuckerberg following the unprecedentedly user-friendly announcement.

“Right now the average Instagram feed goes ad, ad, ad, influencer promoting a product, sponsored post, your cousin’s wedding day, and then a reel of a gorgeous person cliff diving.

“Analytics have shown us that of all those things, a person would be most interested in the pictures of their cousin’s wedding. Or their friends on a night out, or whatever it may be. And not, you know, nine ads for earwax removal tools. So okay, we’ll give it a go”.

Other incredible innovations that could bring life back to Instagram include:

– Making Zuckerberg accept that it’s ok for Snapchat and Tiktok to exist, and that trying to replicate their format in a way that’s clumsier and less cool isn’t going to persuade people to delete their accounts on those platforms.

– Again, sitting Mark down and stressing that people can enjoy different things on different platforms, and that he doesn’t need to oar in every feature onto one platform to have ‘all the marbles’ at the detriment of Instagram as a whole.

– You don’t need all the money, Mark.

The new Instagram feature will kick in once the platform returns from it’s latest outage, hopefully before people realise that it’s ok to look up from their phones once in a while.

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