45-Year-Old Still Rings To Let Everyone Know He Got Home Safe


WHAT is the cut-off age for giving people a ‘quick jingle’ to let them know you’re home safe? That’s the question being asked by 45-year-old Midlands man Eamon O’Malley, who to this day cannot enter the front door of his house without letting the last person to see him know that he’s still in one piece.

“Eamon, we’re in our forties, we’re grown men. You don’t need to send me a ‘safe and sound’ text, really,” said one of O’Malley’s pals, who has tolerated this behaviour for decades.

“I know it’s recommended to women to do things like this, but dude, we’re men. We’re not at that high of a risk of not making it home safely. Your pals are not sitting around worried about who may or may not have followed you up the road. It’s one of the perks of being a man, so y’know, enjoy it. Quit sending me voicemails at two in the morning, please”.

Nevertheless, O’Malley has resolved to continue sending the irritating-but-reassuring texts to whoever he spoke to last on a night out, despite nobody every letting him know if they got home alive or not.

“How hard is it to text ‘hey, had a nice time, home safe and sound, talk to you later’? Anyways, nice talking to you, just arrived at the house there let me know if you need anything else,” said O’Malley in a text to us, an hour after we wrapped up our interview with him.