Single Woman Just Looking For Someone Equally Good-Looking To Appear In Instagram Pictures With Her

“I DON’T care what they did in the past, how much money they have or whatever the issue with them, I’m just looking for someone as good looking as me to appear beside me in Instagram photos,” single Waterford woman Denise Hurley tells WWN.

“Convict, homeless, has only one leg; it’s no odds on me as all that stuff can be hidden using the right camera angles – just as long as they have a perfect symmetrical face, toned body, even tan and full head of hair,” continued the 28-year-old, who had it up to here with ‘Irish mongrels’, “how hard is it to find someone that looks perfect, but is a total trainwreck, I mean, we don’t have to be romantic per say, they just need to accompany me in cutesy couple pics having perfect little picnics on the beach – that kind of shit”.

Exhausted from years of trying to find the perfect man, Hurley stated she doesn’t even require the desired individual to even speak English.

“He can be mute and deaf, fucking blind even – but not that obviously closed eyed blind – if you get me, just something to look at and match my own aesthetics,” she pleaded, “I think women these days are too picky when it comes to men’s personalities and I actually find it a bit shallow when a woman demands a partner should make x amount of money and be faithful – I couldn’t give a toss as long as he looks like a fucking ride”.

If you or someone you know may fit Ms. Hurley’s criteria, please queue at the payphone box on Mainstreet, Tramore this Sunday at 4pm.