Dublin Airport Luggage Turns Up At CERN

PASSANGERS who lost their luggage coming through Dublin airport can breathe a sigh of relief today after scientists at CERN confirmed that hundreds of suitcases were found scattered along the hadron collider and will be returned in due course.

Along with the luggage, several disorientated passengers were also found wandering around the facility before being shuttled to a nearby hospital and treated for shock.

“Last thing I remember I was queueing for security and the next I’m walking around the tunnel,” Irishman and Ryanair passenger-to-be, Martin Sterling, who spent three days walking around in circles before being found, “I was meant to fly to Paris but ended up in Switzerland, but I just thought this was normal Ryanair practice”.

Dublin Airport confirmed a chartered flight will now fly to Geneva and collect the hoard of luggage and 7 lost passengers and fly them back to Dublin.

“We have no idea how this happened,” a joint statement from Aerlingus, Ryanair and Dublin Airport read, “we can only apologise to those passengers affected and charge them three times the fare back from Switzerland”.

A spokes scientist at CERN stated this isn’t the first-time lost items have been found at the facility, confirming thousands of odd socks, teaspoons, pens and car keys are regularly discovered at the site.