Biden Accidentally Sends 40 Billion Aides To Ukraine
BEWILDERED and full of questions, an immeasurable number of White House interns and aides have been dumped off Lockheed C-5 Galaxy military transport planes and left on Kyiv airport tarmac in what is perhaps the biggest blunder of Joe Biden’s presidency yet.
Biden, having secured support from lawmakers for a $40 billion aid package to Ukraine, set off a domino effect when his meandering and confusing instructions to staff resulted in 40 billion White House aides being delivered to Ukraine instead.
“I was just told the president needed me for a press briefing or something and next thing I know my Google Maps is telling me I’m in the direct line of fire,” shared one intern, only a week on the job.
“Is abortion legal here? Oh ok, brilliant, I might stay permanently actually,” offered another aide, hedging their bets.
The aid package was meant to contribute to humanitarian efforts as well as support for Ukraine’s military but with this latest faux pas questions will be again asked of Biden’s flagging presidency.
“Can you fight?” Ukrainian military personnel, trying to make the most of a bad situation, asked the aides as they shivered on a blustery runway in the dead of night.
“I took a semester of sociology,” came the reply from all 40 billion aides.
“Aw shit,” said president Biden as he bolted upright in his bed at 3am, finally realising his error.