“She’s A Lying Bitch” Defend Ronaldo Fans Out Of Habit


KEEN to defend their favourite player of all time, Ronaldo fans have been quick to deny whatever he’s been accused of now, WWN Sport can confirm.

“She’s a lying bitch. Sorry, force of habit. This is a phone thing? With a kid?” offered fans, in their opening rebuttal to allegations.

“Well even if he did admit to doing it and apologised, he didn’t and he shouldn’t have because he’s done nothing wrong. There’s video evidence? It’s probably doctored. There’s witnesses? They’re just being put up to saying it by the Messi mafia?” reasoned Ronaldo loyalists, of an incident which saw the player smash a young Everton fan’s phone.

“Aside from the proof what evidence is there? A phone breaking when it’s thrown to the floor – that sounds very unlikely, phone screens are famously durable,” added fans, stalling for time while scraping the internet in the vein hope some comprising information relating to the Portuguese international’s accuser emerges.

“Aha! His mother’s neighbour’s dog parked on double yellow lines in 2006. This is who we’re supposed to believe over a goal machine with a 32-pack?” queried one ashen faced fan, the colour returning to their face.

Elsewhere, a queue of solicitors has formed outside the home of the child on the receiving end of Ronaldo’s outburst, with many suggesting the child could spend the rest of their lives in a full body cast due to the severity of the injuries.