Police Issue Warrant For Nick Cotton Arrest


ALBERT Square is in mourning today following the death of long-time resident Dorothy ‘Dot’ Cotton at the age of 95, and while police seem content that there was no foul play, they want to bring her no-good son Nick Cotton in for questioning just to be on the safe side.

“He’s always been a wrong ‘un, that Nick Cotton, broke his poor mother’s heart he did,” said one Albert Square resident, while walking from the caff to the launderette and back for the fifth time today.

“We do believe that Dot passed away from old age, but we can’t be too careful around here. There’s ‘asn’t been a murder or suspicious death or arson attack or businessman pushed down a cliff in almost four weeks, so we’re due one any minute and this could be it,” added another, alternating between talking very quietly and very, very loudly for no apparent reason.

Meanwhile local physician Dr. Legg has noted that Mrs. Cotton seems to have died from natural causes, a fact that was relayed to patrons of the local pub ‘The Queen Vic’ by six different people, all claiming to be Ben Mitchell.

As such, the police have scaled back their hunt for Nick Cotton, believed to be in the Manchester area with his fellow ‘constant scourge to his poor long-suffering mum and dad’, Terry Duckworth.