Sorry Ukraine But Will Smith Slapped Chris Rock So We’re A Little Distracted Today


APOLOGIES have been extended to Ukrainian civilians currently on the receiving end of the most heinous and inhumane war crimes, but Will Smith just fucking slapped Chris Rock across the face, we kid you not!

“All high-minded opinion pieces, all Tiktok explainers, all 150-tweet Twitter threads, all comment section arguments will solely be focusing on the Smith Slap today. I mean did you see how Rock took it like a champ, although some are saying it’s totally fake” said the world, just running on pure controversy-generated adrenaline.

Similar apologies have been made to the conflicts in Syria, Yemen, Ethiopia and elsewhere, but all meme-making abilities of the internet have now been fully diverted to Will Smith’s reaction to a joke about his wife’s bald head.

“A brief break will be taken to share the heart warming footage of Lady Gaga and Liza Minnelli, and maybe if we have time we’ll mention ‘Coda’ won best picture, but honestly it’s just one of those crazy days, Ukraine won’t make the cut, but you’re going to love our ‘What Smith’s Slap Tells Us About Toxic Masculinity’ article,” sections of the media and online publishing game told Ukraine, hoping they’d understand.

Ukrainian government officials were advised to hold off on pleas for further military and humanitarian aid or highlighting of war crimes until everyone has gotten over the Oscars slap as there were a lot Fresh Prince of Bel Air based dad jokes to get through.

Elsewhere, Chris Rock has confirmed he feels like the most under attack comedian alive today following the altercation which took place on live TV. Volodomyr Zelensky was not available for comment as he was quite busy.