List Of Celebrities Not Pictured With Epstein, Putin Or Saudi Royalty Getting Shorter By The Day

PR FIRMS have advised their celebrity clients that while they will do their absolute best when it comes to old photos of them hugging some of the world’s most now-despised human beings, they’re ‘not miracle workers’ and some of this dirt ‘might just have to stick’.

“We’re coming hot off a year where pictures just kept cropping up of people partying with either Jeffrey Epstein or Ghislaine Maxwell, and that was Jedi-mind-trick levels of getting the public to forget or forgive,” said one public relations consultant we spoke to, with clients from across the worlds of music, movies and sport.

“So that was hard, but thankfully it was mostly world leaders, ex-presidents, things like that. But now, with Putin waging war in the Ukraine, we’re at it again. He’s in pictures with everyone! Sure, there’s the usual suspects like your McGregors and your Seagals. But there’s also pictures of Putin all palls with Paul McCartney! And Leonardo DiCaprio, the Pope, the Queen… everyone wants to hush it all up, but there’s only so many of us and there’s only so many hours in the day”.

Further headaches are due for already-stressed PR staff as many celebrities also admitted that there are images floating around of them getting jiggy with a collection of Saudi Arabian royals and Emirati princes, apparently the next big ‘no-no’ on the horizon due to some human rights abuses or ‘other such nonsense’.

“Richie Kavanagh, that’s who I’m going to be left with as a client. Richie Kavanagh, the only celebrity not pictured with a paedophile billionaire, a mad dictator or a bunch of blood-crazed oil billionaires who carry out executions by the gross,” sighed our contact, while frantically emailing celebrities pleading with them to delete their Instagram accounts ASAP.