Seeking To Improve Reputation Denis O’Brien Becomes Property Developer


LOOKING for ways to improve his reputation and endear himself to the people of Ireland, billionaire Denis O’Brien has set his sights on pursuing work in a profession universally beloved by everyone; that of the humble property developer.

Insiders have suggested that O’Brien’s Jepview Ltd’s decision to build offices in Grand Canal Dock was the result of an extensive PR and branding consultation process aimed at lifting his already stellar reputation to new and dizzying heights.

“Denis is cleverer than you or I. A mere pea-brained peasant would be thinking it would be a PR masterclass to build affordable housing and sell at cost, but you’d be wrong you idiot, the smart move to win over heart and minds is to provide Dublin with a 15-storey office block,” explained a source.

According to business reputation specialists property developers rank among those held in the highest esteem by Irish society, somewhere between puppy drowners and bus drivers who drive past you even though you’ve clearly flagged the bus down.

“And if you’re not willing to submit to the fact that he is a genius, the office block will have a cafe at the bottom which will presumably charge the very reasonable coffee prices Dublin is famed for,” added the source.

Elsewhere in business news Eir are to get into the car clamping business in a bid to improve their relationship with customers.