“Trust Us, You Don’t Want To See Us In Destructive Mode” Sinn Féin Tells Martin

SINN Féin have laughed off suggestions by the Taoiseach that they are in ‘destructive opposition mode’, adding that they’re currently in more of a ‘sit back and let the government hang itself with rope it bought at ten times the market value from a company set up by one of their cronies’ phase.

Taoiseach Micheàl Martin took time out of his busy ‘avoid the public as Covid numbers soar into the stratosphere’ schedule to take a swipe at the opposition party, nailing them with accusations such as ‘they’re very quiet on Russia’ in a bid to close the widening gap at the top of the polls where SF are obtaining a clear lead.

“In fairness, we’ve been a bit distracted with the crippling housing crisis, the state of the nation’s health service and the breakdown of society in Irish life, to put much time into arguing about the Ukraine – he has us there,” stated a Sinn Féin spokesperson today.

“But hey, if he want’s to see us in ‘destructive opposition mode’, then by all means we can bring that this year. And before you ask, no, we don’t mean ‘blow stuff up’ destructive. We don’t do that anymore. Or, sorry, we never did that. Anyway, move it on. Big lead in the polls, Taoiseach talking shite. That’s the story here”.

Meanwhile the Irish media have 100% backed the Taoiseach, and headlines such as ‘Sinn Féin’s Pro-Putin Stance Set To Cost You Millions’ and ‘Are Sinn Féin About To Blow Up A Garda Station? Find Out Inside’ filling news stands today.