Older Woman With Twins ‘Must Have Had The IVF’, Confirms Local Gossip

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LOCAL busybody Eimear McGuinlan is fairly certain that her neighbour up the road must have undergone a lengthy and quite possibly emotionally draining IVF journey to conceive her twin baby girls, and has outlined her thoughts on the matter to anyone who will sit with her for ten minutes.

“And of course, it’s not like she’s all that young, is it?” mused McGuinlan, speculating on the ovarian capabilities of the woman in no.38, whose name is as yet unknown.

“So if you ask me, herself and the husband. I think it’s her husband, they might just be partners… remind me to do further research into that, must have spent thousands upon thousands on IVF. Because a woman over thirty five with no kids couldn’t just suddenly have twins, could she? Anyway, that’s my thoughts on the matter, based on what I’ve seen from the front window here”.

McGuinlan prides herself on her knowledge of the reproductive behaviour of her neighbours, and has also noted that:

– The second eldest in no.14 around the corner must be adopted, as he looks nothing like his brothers or sisters

– The newlyweds in no.81 are having trouble conceiving a child, given that they got married nearly a full year ago and there’s no sign of a ‘bump on her’. McGuinlan has no evidence as to why said couple aren’t pregnant yet, but has decided to herself that it must be the man shooting blanks as he’s ‘a watery looking yoke’.

– The lady in no.41 isn’t breastfeeding her child, so it will almost certainly end up in jail.

Mrs. McGuinlan also mentioned that she’s available for freelance nosiness in your area, and if you want some wild speculation about your neighbours then ‘just give her a call’.

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