Afghanistan Warns Planet Not To Take Obama’s Speech On Saving It Seriously


A WEARY Afghanistan eyed former US president Barack Obama’s ‘we must save the plant’ speech at COP26 with a significant amount of cynicism and urged the planet not to expect saving any time soon.

“Sure, he’s a delivers a good speech, but take it from us, if he’s appealing for the need to save you that’s pretty much a guarantee the US will abandon you in a decade and blame the sorry state you’re in all on you,” Afghanistan told the planet.

Appeals by Obama for greater sacrifice, action and cooperation ring hollow for Afghanistan, which has urged the planet not to fall for such vacuous smooth talking.

“He’s talked about countries failing to honour the things they’ve signed up to, yeah that sounds very him. We don’t mean to putting a downer on things, but once he stated the need to save earth we were like ‘oh great, this means the planet will be a fiery ball in 10 years’,” Afghanistan said, urging the planet to make ‘alternative arrangements’.

“And yeah he said ‘cynicism is the recourse of cowards’ in his speech, but we reckon failing to build a sustainable peace in a nation your country invaded is pretty cowardly too,” added Afghanistan.

Following Obama’s pleas to save the planet, a sweating planet is nervously waiting Joe Biden’s announcement of a full scale withdrawal.

Elsewhere in his speech delivered in Glasgow Obama erroneously said it was ‘great to be back in the Emerald Isles’, prompting wounded Irish people to state “we named a motorway services station after you and this is how you repay us?”