Kid Clearly Mitching


CITIZENS in the Waterford area are currently ‘at a loss’ as to what to do about a teenage boy seen loitering around the town in the middle of the day, at a time when he should clearly be at school.

“I mean, he’s 100% mitching, should I call the guards? Or the school? It seems odd to just sit back and do nothing” mused one shopkeeper who served the as-yet-unidentified teenager a chicken fillet roll at 12.05pm.

“It’s none of my business, but I feel like I’m in it now, if you get me. I’m part of this. Should I have tackled him to the ground? Am I in trouble now for selling him a roll? What if he ends up on the news? Fuck me, this is a lot for a Monday”.

The young man, wearing the uniform of local secondary school St. Mary Augustus Of The Perfect Dropkick, was later spotted in the local park buzzing around on an e-scooter, seemingly without care.

“It’s the blatant-ness of it all that fascinates me. When I went mitching as a kid, I hid in a ditch for 8 hours, but not this lad,” said one awe-struck onlooker.

“I love this kid,” said an office worker, staring out the window at the youth vaping in the car park.

“I’ve been in this office for 17 years and I daren’t call in sick or else they’d fire me on the spot. And here’s this boy, just out doing whatever he wants. Woke up this morning, said ‘fuck school’ and just went for it. God speed, you beautiful soul, blasting tunes out on the speaker of your phone. God speed”.

Meanwhile the teachers at St. Mary Augustus have admitted that they know the kid is mitching, but what the fuck do you want them to do about it.