THERE were sombre scenes earlier today as parents Brian and Yvonne O’Sullivan took the bottle of Moet down from the top shelf in the kitchen and began jumping up and down and dancing on the sofa in utter devstation. “I mean we always knew this blessed, I mean cursed news, was coming but nothing prepares… Read more »
BACK TO SCHOOL pictures on social media have become the new fad in keeping up with the Joneses, evolving from simple front door snaps of children heading back to school, to a new form of ‘look at my beautiful house interior’. WWN looks at the 5 best photogenic fireplaces to stick your back to school… Read more »
FAILING TO hide her annoyance at the fact her youngest child has his school hazmat suit ruined three days into the school year, local mother Rachel Keeley’s patience is being tested to its limits. “What did I tell you? No knee slides,” Keeley said through gritted teeth which grasped thread she was using to sow… Read more »
SIX months of running roughshod over their fraught parents at home appears to have lulled children into believing that life will always be this handy, according to a shell-shocked group of Waterford school kids after their first day back. “When it got to 10 o’clock and I hadn’t been handed an ice-pop, that’s when I… Read more »
DISMISSING the words of caution from the Petit Filous that has been serving as village chief for the last two months, a brave ham and Dairylea spread sandwich has ventured out of the Smiggle schoolbag that it has called home since late March, and made a run for freedom in the brave new world that… Read more »
SCHOOLYARD bullies are among the groups most likely to be affected by new Covid rules from the Department Of Education, with a ban on wedgies and Chinese burns performed without gloves, a full cessation on headlocks and diddy twists, and a strict one dead-arm per child per day law, WWN can confirm. “It says here… Read more »
WITHOUT a single thought for their own safety, Waterford parents Michael and Janet Philpens have dashed out into the darkness of a rain-lashed night to collect 9 different types of leaf, which their 9-year-old son Eamon has just casually informed them that he needed for morning. “You head that way, there’s an oak tree beside… Read more »
A NEW history module is to be added to the Junior secondary school cycle aimed at showing teenagers what it was like to live during the dark ages of technology between 1980 and 1999, including lessons on how to salvage cassette tapes that got mangled in a walkman, and how to ensure someone doesn’t tape soaps… Read more »
A RECENT study carried by leading experts in sports science has revealed that parents can burn as many as 3,000 calories while begging, pleading and shouting gentle encouragement at their children in a bid to persuade them to get dressed and ready for school. The American College of Sports Medicine has confirmed that the various… Read more »
THE DEPARTMENT of Education and the schools it oversees have been rounded on by sport experts after it was revealed the popular game of Kerbs has not yet been added to the curriculum. The highly skilled sport, played by those of all abilities but only mastered by the few who possess the required genius, Kerbs… Read more »