Politicians’ Brains To Be Hit Hard By ‘Vacant Property Tax’

A LOOPHOLE in a government proposed ‘Vacant Property Tax’ could see a significant levy applied to Irish politicians’ brains, WWN can reveal.

“Sadly there is no more dilapidated a structure, no more cavernous and neglected than that of a politician’s brain,” explained one housing expert, “the echo within the structure can be heard for miles around”.

“Leaving any brain vacant is a moral failing and with the definition of what a vacant property is left suitably vague, politicians have left themselves open to being taxed for never using them,” added the expert, in a loophole that is sure to prove lucrative for the exchequer.

Meant to form part of the government’s Housing For All plan, the overabundance of derelict brains belonging to politicians could create a new tax revenue stream in the millions that is sure to bankrupt the worst offending politicians.

“Just imagine the taxes levied on some independent TDs, nevermind government ministers who try to cover their arses with excuse after excuse,” chimed in one member of the public, delighted to a see a new tax that doesn’t gouge him for once.

However, the scenes of jubilation have been tempered somewhat by the realisation that civil servants will be the ones responsible for collecting the tax and ensuring compliance.

“Another loophole has civil servants identified as untouchable protected structures too,” sighed another housing expert.