“I Had No Idea Irish People Were This Insufferable”


VETERAN actor Bill Murray is being treated in a Mayo Clinic for stress-induced headaches, brought about by contact with Irish humour while in the country filming a new golf show.

“I thought I was being brought to the Mayo Clinic, not whatever this place is” sighed the former Ghostbuster, as yet another local ran up to ask him to record ‘Mayo for Sam’ as a video on their phone.

“Also, here I’ve been for almost 50 years working my ass off to create comedy masterpieces, when all I had to do was take a photo of myself and photoshop a Londis bag into it. That’s apparently the funniest thing these people have ever seen, Jesus Christ”.

Murrayologists are keeping a close eye on Bill’s trip to Ireland, and have revealed what it is about the Irish that may be winding the Hollywood megastar up so much.

“Irish people have a saying, ‘if we didn’t like you we wouldn’t slag you’, and that does not sit well with Bill” said one expert we spoke to.

“Bill will slag you if he doesn’t like you, or if he wants you to get the hell away from him. So he’ll launch a barb at someone in Ireland, but they won’t respond because they think he’s just being friendly with them. Trust me, he’s not. If he says that your presence is irritating him and he wants you to go away, he means that. If you just laugh and say ‘ah Bill you’re some craic’, that’s his personal hell”.

Murray is expected to be in the country for another few weeks, which will give everyone a chance to make an Irish road signs/ Lost In Translation joke at least once.