Guide, How To Resign From Government

HAVE you just changed the guidelines on public gatherings so that everyone can have 200-person outdoor events during a pandemic rather than admitting you’re wrong?

Are you reeling from a ‘boys and girls club’ appointment that has turned into an omnishambles of a clusterfuck which has morphed into an acockupalypse of twattish proportions?

But are you still somehow reluctant to take your spoonful of medicine despite being part of a stupid, callous extra-fragile Coalition cock up? Well let WWN help you master the long forgotten art of accountability in public office with this resigning from your position ‘how-to’:

Don’t: say you were only attending Katherine Zappone’s hotel gathering to test your eyesight.

Do: resign.

Don’t: suggest this is a personal attack and a sign of ‘toxic online abuse’ when people are pointing out that everything about the appointment ‘process’ stank.

Do: resign.

Don’t: think your reputation and post-political career in public speaking and memoir writing should come before confidence in important public health messaging and guidelines.

Do: resign.

Don’t: forget there’s the whole leak thing too which is part of an ongoing garda investigation.

Do: resign.

Don’t: compromise the long hard fought for progress in the battle against Covid-19 by making people who sacrificed not attending funerals and other occasions feel like complete eejits for not just booking the Merrion Hotel for a 50-person gathering, which as of yesterday is apparently something we could always do.

Do: resign.

Don’t: think that having integrity is optional and only something you access when telling other people they should step aside for something very similar to the thing you are now saying is perfectly fine.

Do: resign.

Don’t: think this will all be forgotten and won’t have lasting damage for your party. Or, if you’re in a coalition party that you can support retroactively justifying all this using the Attorney General.

Do: resign.