Electric Picnic Organisers Add Zappone To Line Up In Bid To Ensure Festival Can Go Ahead


EXHALING in relief, Electric Picnic festival organisers are celebrating a foolproof line up addition which ensures the event can go ahead without fear of any repercussions.

“Thank God for that, we can tear up all the careful planning that goes with ensuring an outdoor event is as safe as possible now we’ve got our headliner, courtesy of plenty of time being freed up in her diary suddenly” shared one EP organiser.

Ireland’s now former special envoy for ‘freedom of expression’, Katherine Zappone, declined to respond to questions about staging a 50-person gathering at a Dublin hotel over a week ago which appears to be against current guidelines.

“With Katherine booked for the main stage, it looks like we can just do what we want, 40,000? 70,000? Fuck it 100,000, the key is just to act like any complaint or concern from the public is beneath you. Get buying your bucket hats and face paint now!” offered the organiser, who added that unlike Zappone’s gathering Leo Varadkar won’t get a free invite and will have to pay for a ticket.

While music fans have welcomed the news, others have lamented Zappone’s addition to the line up, calling her output a disappointing cover version of Golfgate.

Elsewhere seasoned sessioners and jaw chewers have rejoiced at the EP news stating “talking to a tree at 4am about how ‘Taylor Swift is actually the Karl Marx of ours times’ is back on the menu”.