Local Gang Of Youths Sign Sponsorship Deal With North Face


A FEARSOME gang of youths aka ‘just some kids’, known for terrorising the locality by gathering in groups of as many as 7,000 to stand around outside a shop, have signed a lucrative sponsorship deal with clothing brand The North Face.

“It’s important to express ourselves as individuals and really explore our burgeoning personalities through the prism of fashion, and what better why to do it than by all wearing identical jackets?” offered cheerful youth Jack O’Neill, surrounded by 8 friends dressed in identical NF jackets.

“Actually I’m wearing a black Nuptse with white trim while Sean is wearing a white Nuptse with black trim,” corrected Jack, as several people crossed the road, moved towns and changed identities all to avoid walking by the group of intimidating looking youths.

A spokesperson for the brand stated they are delighted to tie down Jack and the lads to a long term deal which means they are legally required to wear their heavy duty NF gear 24/7 even during blistering sunshine.

“Do you know how many views those videos of youths fighting amongst themselves or intimidating people get online? And if they’re all wearing North Face while doing it – that’s brand exposure no amount big flashy TV ad campaign can compete with,” explained enthusiastic North Face employee and head of Lads Outreach Nick Worley.

“We abandoned the hiking outdoorsy demographic ages ago, it’s all about the lucrative ‘youths just hanging about the locality’ demographic now. We’re just hoping Jack and the boys aren’t part of the 99% of kids who are harmless, because let’s face it none of them end up in videos going viral around panicked neighbourhood watch WhatsApp and Facebook groups”.