Satanists Urge Government To Allow Ritualistic Sacrifice Ceremonies This Easter


ALL too aware of how hard lockdown has been on his congregation one local Satanist leader has urged the government to allow his faith’s annual ritualisitc sacrifice ceremonies to go ahead around Easter this year.

Echoing other faiths calls for in-person religious worship to be allowed, a robed Satanist druid Conor Daggan, said his congregants were suffering as a result of restrictions.

“We’re like any other faith, it’s about community and getting together, and it’s just not the same having parishioners watching me burning a virgin at the stake on Zoom,” confirmed Daggan, wearing a pentagram around his neck on a chain.

The Lucifer and Baphomet adherent said the government is infringing on religious liberty and should make an exemption for his church.

“We’re not hurting anyone other than the virgin we sacrifice, what harm is there of gathering for this procession that is central to our faith. I’m Covid compliant on everything, when we drink her blood, we’ll all be doing it out of our own individual chalices,” added Daggan, “and we’d only take our masks off when we have to chant incantations in backward Latin”.

Duggan’s thoughts are echoed by some of congregation.

“If nuns are fecking off outside the 5k to perform exorcisms then I feel we’re well within our rights to place demonic souls in people outside the 5k too,” confirmed 84-year-old Carmel Flynn, “I haven’t missed a sacrifice in 79 years and the government can feck off if it thinks it’s stopping me now”.