Tattoo Clad David Drumm Emerges From Prison A Changed Man

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STILL awaiting an apology from the Irish judiciary and the wider Irish public, David Drumm emerged a changed man from prison 2 years and 8 months into a 6 year sentence for false accounting and conspiracy to defraud the public.

“Whoever decided he should go free after less than 3 years should be done for false accounting too,” remarked members of the public still not willing to accept that white collar crime is somewhere below littering in the list of severity of crimes in Ireland.

Looking slightly different from when he went to prison, the former Anglo CEO was pictured leaving Loughan House open prison with his knuckles bearing the tattoos ‘thug’ and ‘life’, and his now former prison mates can attest to the fact he is most certainly a profoundly changed man.

“It took him awhile to adjust, you have to remember he’d feel like a real fish out of water – the sorts of guys in here they’re in for crimes very different from being involved in €7.2 billion fraud, you’re talking lads in here for not paying their TV licence, proper scum” confirmed former cellmate Barry ‘Brick’ Townsend.

“But that’s not how everyone sees it so at first, the lads who were in for child pornography and that – they didn’t want anything to do with scum like him”.

“After awhile he toughened up and started demanding people calling him by his prison name – Atila the Drumm, and he was slowly accepted”.

In the early days Drumm took to lifting weights and getting ‘Anglo Golden Circle’ tattooed across his back to get his mind off the fact he’d be out in no time.

“In prison they do be giving you courses and that, y’know to try and prepare you for the outside, but it wasn’t for Drumm ‘N Bass, as much as we tried to help him he’d keep failing the Intro to Accounting module,” explained John ‘Slit-throat’ Murphy, a former drug gang enforcer.

“You only do two days inside, the day you arrive and the day you leave. Granted, when it’s white collar crime in Ireland chances are you literally only do two days anyway,” confirmed Drumm’s tattooist Frank ‘Fiddler’ Flynn, so named due to being a talented fiddle player, and nothing else.

Do his prison mates think the punishment fitted the crime?

“I think when it comes to Ireland, we need a big rethink on prisons and justice, like yeah sure here’s a lad who helped collapse and bankrupt a country, but he couldn’t get Sky Sports on the TV in his room. So if anything, the punishment was too harsh,” confirmed Flynn.

WWN was unable to reach Drumm on the phone for comment due to him fielding a large number of calls from old pals seeking to give him consultancy work.

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