Signs You’re Handling This Lockdown Pretty Well

WITH the government absolutely knocking things out of the park in terms of a comprehensive, no-stone-left-unturned approach to stamping out Covid in the community, many people are delighting in how easy living through this lockdown now is, knowing everything is under control and expertly managed.

Not sure how well your thriving at the minute? Keep an eye out for these signs:

1) You laugh to yourself every time you see someone on the news state a new updated vaccination target. Then throw something at the TV.

2) You’re doing okay, but you’re worried about the paper mache doll you made during the first lockdown, there hasn’t been a word out of him in days.

3) When the Taoiseach said lockdown in some form could be extended to Easter, you double checked the sneaky fuckers hadn’t changed the dates for Easter this year to December 2024.

4) You have increased your use of the phrase “I’m not one of them anti-mask 5G eejits but I swear…” by 500% in recent days.

5) Or you’re taking a ‘sure look it, I’ll deal with lockdown when I get back from Tenerife’ attitude to all things.

6) When asked how you’re coping you can’t just say ‘fine’ without adding ‘honestly grand, not grand grand now, but you know yourself, grand, barely hanging on mind, falling apart at the seams, going mad, but grand’.

7) Now that you’ve all this extra time, you finally reached the end of the internet. You can put your phone away now!

8) You’ve moved ever so slightly more towards actually starting all those projects you said you would at the start of last year’s lockdown. Learning Italian, here we come! Soon! Not right now, but very shortly!

9) It’s taken over 400 hours but you’ve finally completed a near perfect replica of Ireland before Covid on Minecraft and now live there permanently via the magic of VR.

10) You’d be nothing without your routine, starting drinking at 4pm was a genius idea.

11) You’ve made your own vaccine from diluted fairy liquid. Next stop, sun holiday!

12) You only meant to go a little over the 5k limit but you’re legs just refused to stop, 12,000km later and a walk on an Aussie beach, you dread to think you’ve robbed the guards of an easy €100 fine.