Delusional Man Buys Medium Sized T-shirt

DESPITE repeated purchases online resulting in dozens of ill-fitting clothes now lying in the bottom clothes drawer, Darren Mackey has once again chosen the ‘M’ option for his €49 T-shirt choice, reassuring himself that this time the top will fit perfectly.

“If it’s too small it can go in the drawer with the rest of the new tops I bought until I lose some of this weight,” he told himself, for the 11th year in a row, unaware his wife Julie has already given away most of the previous new t-shirts to charity.

Denying the fact that he may be now more a large size than a medium, the 33-year-old decided to also add a 34-inch waist pair of skinny jeans to the online cart, knowing full well he was more a 38 now, and sometimes 40.

“The great thing about jeans is that they can stretch,” the now delusional son-of-two convinced himself, compartmentalising a previous encounter with a new pair of 34″ Tommy Hilfiger jeans in a store last year when he met with a loud laugh from Julie when he exited the fitting room.

“Sure, God love him, he still thinks he’s in his mid-twenties, the big eejit,” his wife explains, “he’s been wearing the same three t-shirts now for the last five years because he continually buys clothes that are too small for him”.

Experts believe that ageing men reach a stage of denial in their 30s and 40s when it comes to how Dad-bod afflicted they really are, before moving on and succumbing to tucking their t-shirts into their jeans in a misguided attempt to appear slimmer.