You’d Miss Trump All The Same, Finds Study


THE kick-off of the impeachment trial of former US president Donald Trump has brought with it a welcomed burst of ‘Trumpy-ness’ that has been missing from life since Trump left office in January, research has shown.

The Senate took to the floor yesterday to vote on whether or not Trump’s second impeachment was constitutional and featured the arrival of a new character in the Trump saga; lawyer Bruce Castor, who lit up social media in a manner not seen since the ‘good old days’ of three weeks ago.

“This is what has been missing since Trump let office and was booted off Twitter, just a good old fashioned pile-on while Republicans outdo themselves in the ‘Jesus Christ did they just say that out loud?’ stakes” sobbed one anti-Trump campaigner, who admits that every day without his former nemesis feels more empty than the last.

Other people who took part in the study admitted that while Joe Biden was their chosen president, he doesn’t bring that daily dose of ‘oomph’ to their lives that Trump, much as it pains them to admit it, brought in spades.

“What am I supposed to do with all the spare time I have now that I don’t have Trump on Twitter to reply to and lash out at?” stated one bored Democrat, uncertain about whether or not Biden even has a Twitter.

“Life is all just so… meh. No covfefe. No easily-debunked lies, no hornets nest being kicked. Should I just go back to living a normal life with my family? It’s not so easy after doing the same thing for five years”.

With many more Trump addicts admitting that his impeachment trial will suffice for now, but they wouldn’t mind the glimmer of hope that he’ll run again in 2024 and give them something new to bitch about.