Man Fined For Non-Essential Border Collie Cross

THE FIRST victim of what some are calling unworkable and unenforceable fines for non-essential cross border crossings was fined €100 after being found in possession of what gardaí deemed to be a non-essential border collie cross.

“So what, the collie’s herding ability, its intelligence, agility and obedience isn’t enough is it? You had to go messing with perfection, huh?” Garda Graham Morgan said waving an accusatory finger at motorist and border collie crosser Sean Hughes, stopped at a now routine border cross check on his way into the Republic.

Now subject to a fixed penalty notice due to an unforeseen typo in cross border travel measures, Hughes is being punished for having the collie labrador mix in his car as it has been deemed a non-essential border collie cross.

“The border collie’s the perfect dog, he can give all the excuses he likes but there’s no need to chuck in a bit of labrador, it was already to the perfect dog for kids” Dundalk based Garda Morgan told WWN later.

“Sorry, it’s not essential. Essential for Instagram likes, maybe, for setting up an Instagram page for the dog that he hopes in the long run will make him some cash, sure, but it’s still non-essential,” added Morgan.

While some crosses are deemed essential such as any pug paired with another breed that reduces the chance of it looking like a bug-eyed monstrosity with the breathing capabilities of deflated bagpipes, owners like Hughes will continue to be punished.

Elsewhere, a number of cross border fuel smuggling journeys have been waved on as ‘grand’.