Curse Of The Kennedys: 104-Year-Old Michael Kennedy Jnr Dies Unexpectedly


THE Kennedy family curse strikes again! Michael Kennedy Jnr. has died unexpectedly today following a short illness which left him dead early this morning, WWN can confirm.

The 104-year-old was found lifeless by his wife Jane Kennedy and is believed to have either died suddenly in his sleep or had woken up dead.

“He had his whole entire life ahead of him and was always the life and soul of the party,” a close family member said, who admitted to now being afraid to carry the Kennedy name. “We now live constantly in fear of dying. What have we done to deserve this?”

Michael Kennedy Jnr. also leaves behind five sons, two daughters and 15 grandchildren, many of whom are now looking to change their names by deed poll.

“It’s like having a dark thunder cloud following you around everywhere you go, waiting to strike us down with Kennedy killing lightening,” said granddaughter, Mary Kennedy, looking over her shoulder every couple of sentences in fear, “I’m always extra cautious when I’m out and about and constantly double check whatever I eat. My mechanic thinks I’m stone mad as I get my car brakes and wheels checked every month. I don’t even dare to fly or take the boat”.

The famous Kennedy curse has taken dozens of lives over the years, most famously John F. Kennedy and his brother Bobby, who were both assassinated in the 1960s.

“Oh, Jesus no, we’re not related to them at all, sorry. We’re the Kennedy’s from Longford, not the yank Wexford lads” Jane Kennedy told, “but I suppose the curse still stands though as Michael’s brother Davy died last year and he was only 96? Like, both brothers were taken too soon so it’s definitely the curse of the Kennedy, right?”