Calpol Loaded Into Syringes In Bid To Make Up Vaccine Shortfall

WHILE there has been increasingly encouraging news on vaccine supplies in the last week, an impatience among the Irish public has prompted the government to further bolster vaccine supplies with a tried and tested reliable name in the field of Irish medicine solutions.

Dubbed an Irish solution to an Irish problem, vaccine administrators up and down the country have begun loading Calpol in syringes in a bid to combat Covid-19 at a faster rate.

Vaccines already on the market typically contain 5-6 doses in one vial while one bottle of Calpol contains upwards of 15 doses per bottle and can be kept at room temperature in the medicine cupboard at home next to the plasters.

“Research isn’t conclusive, but look it, it was shoved down our throats as kids for everything from the sniffles to chronic leprosy, so it should do the trick,” said one health official administering the Calpol jab.

Like the Pfizer jab, Calpol must be administered in two doses but there must be a period of 4-6 hours between the first and second doses.

There has been some push back from members of the public who when offered the ’12 plus’ horrible tasting orange Calpol, with many outright refusing the vaccine and demanding they be administered the classic purple and nothing else.

“The queues for the purple one were out the door, we couldn’t pay people to take the orange one, but we’re thinking of bargaining with people; if they’re good and take the orange one, maybe they can stay up late and watch a movie,” confirmed one vaccine official.