“Lockdown Might Last Into March” Taoiseach Tells Nation That Already Figured This Out 4 Weeks Ago


THANKING the Taoiseach and other government representatives for the ‘heads up’, a slightly embarrassed-for-the-government public informed the Taoiseach that they are actually about 4-6 weeks ahead of the government on most Covid-19 related realisations.

“No honestly, thanks for letting us know and that, nice to have you fully caught on ike the rest of us,” explained the public, who were also ahead of the government on the whole ‘health system will be overwhelmed’ stuff too.

“Yeah, we watch the news and listen to the experts, unlike you lot, so next time if you want us to give you a head’s up, we’d be happy to,” added the public, addressing the Taoiseach after he made his ‘possibility of lockdown into March’ remarks.

“Look, we’ll save you time as well, we’ve also figured out that schools won’t be returning to normal as of the 1st of February either, no need to tell us this exact thing in 10 days time at incredibly short notice,” continued the public, also keen to add that the government didn’t need to apologise in September for not meeting their ‘everyone vaccinated by then’ target as the public have already made peace with the fact that’s a load of waffle.

Concluding its remarks, the public asked that the government ‘catch up quickly’ and begin quarantining travellers to Ireland for two weeks as it isn’t, despite what the Tánaiste thinks, as ‘disproportionate’ as the public remaining locked up themselves, watching the HSE collapsing in slow motion and having to say goodbye on Zoom to loved ones dying in hospital.